I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
