Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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