Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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