Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
