just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
