these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
