There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
