u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
