Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize