shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
