My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
