I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
