Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize