apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
