Swine flu. Run for my life!
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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