You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
