If that was your dad, he is hot
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
