Having a random hookup so left but love u
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
