I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
