he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
we're making bets on your personal life
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Randomize
