He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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