Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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