she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
