Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
