I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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