you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
