I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
