Where are you?
In a non slutty way
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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