it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
