The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
