my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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