i think i have two assholes
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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