so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
