Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
