I'm pants shitting drunk right now
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
