bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
