I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
