Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
