im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
