the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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