how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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