to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
