We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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