I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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