Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
