i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
