I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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