The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize