I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
