return my video game
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
