I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
