5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
