And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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