OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
