Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
This is the high leading the old right now
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
